Business

I take a walk with Henry every day. We head up the sidewalk and around the neighborhood. When we started it was early fall and almost too hot to complete a walk. We'd both come home needing a ton of water (more so for Henry since he's the one marking everything). And then it turned mild and we could walk forever if we wanted. Leaves began to turn and the sky shifted to a brighter blue. Now it's cold and windy. Our steps are padded by the crunch of multi-colored leaves. My ears feel frostbitten and my eyes water with the breeze that picks up.

Sometimes we pass other folks on the path. Today it was the lady in her long sari. Little, with dark eyes and hair, and skin perforated with wrinkles, she had a tiny hand up against the wind. The exotic cloth of her gown seemed far too thin. Henry stopped his walking and looked at her in mistrust. I said a few comforting words and a, "Hello." She passed by without a reply. Perhaps I shouldn't have spoken.

It's always my goal to make sure Henry's 'business' is done before we head back into the neighborhood. But sometimes, for whatever reason, he can't get the job done until we get right back onto our street. Then inspiration hits and he crouches over the rock landscaping of the first house on the block. I could be mistaken, but I think that house belongs to the Indian lady we passed today. Guess I'm guess I'm lucky she didn't say anything after all.

Occupy Forever

The Occupy camps are being torn down in several different locations, which is kind of sad. I mean, I wouldn't want a whole bunch of people camped out on my front lawn, but then, I didn't steal their money, their homes . . . If you were to walk up to the scattered remnants of a camp, and you had just come from some distant island and had no clue of what any of it meant, or why, or how it started, and you asked someone, "What was this all about?" And they told you, "It was about people asking for the truth. They wanted Wall Street and all the Big Banks to change their ways." And you said, "There must have been a lot of guns and shooting, fires and looting," "No," they answer. "None of that. Not from the protestors. The cops were the ones who had the guns. The protestors were just holding signs and camping out, singing and shouting." So you ask, "Then why was it torn down?" "Because it was messy," they say.

It was messy.

America is messy. And loud. We're like children who cry in our cribs and our parents stand at the door wringing their hands. "Should we go in? Should we comfort them? If we go in there, they'll cry again next time and they'll never learn that we are the parents. They'll think they can cry about anything, if we go in . . ."

I've always been a sucker. I could never let my children cry. I hold them, I ask them, "What's wrong? How can I help you? What will make this better?" It always seems much better to have a child who knows that, while I am in control, they still have a voice and freedom.

So the camps go, piece by piece. And the people leave, one by one. And the banks and Wall Street and the naysayers all breathe a sigh of relief.

But I can still hear the many voices that made one. It wasn't in vain. You didn't fail. Go home now and rest. Thank you for what you did. The message is still echoing. It is still being heard.

My Review of String Bridge by Jessica Bell

I mentioned on Friday Jessica Bell's debut work of literary fiction String Bridge. It's her first novel, but Jessica isn't new to the world of artistic creation. Coming from a family of musicians, she has forged her own status as songwriter and vocalist. An album of original songs was written and recorded to go along with the book. That's quite an accomplishment. I've known and conversed with Jessica via the internet for somewhat of a year now, and in that time I have been witness to all these things unfolding. The book, and its being picked up for publishing. The pains of trimming and editing. Rewrites. Excitement of the book's cover, and the possibility of a cd. All of this, while still making time for other bloggers, and their books, and their processes. She's quite amazing.

From what I remember the early drafts of String Bridge were intended for the young adult market. It was decided to go more literary, and I can see why as Jessica's writing is so descriptive, so full of emotion and raw intimacy with no holds barred that it does seem much better suited for an adult market. Or perhaps it's the subject matter that seems to fit her writing and not just her ability to handle genre.

The book begins with thirty-year-old Melody Hill, a mother and wife. Living in beautiful Greece should make things perfect, but things are far from that as Melody can't get her former existence off her mind. She used to sing on stage. She used to be somebody. She longs for that life again, of holding a guitar and singing one's soul, of being adored. It's much different than being stuck at home with hardly a thank you to make up for the redundancy of motherhood. Add to that a feeling her dreams are being denied, on purpose, by the one person who is supposed to love her more than anyone else. She wants to leave Greece and work again, and sing again. Women always follow their men, but if he loves her, he'll follow where she wants to go. Is asking a sin? If she doesn't, will it ruin them anyway?

It's an intense story. In this age where society has moved far past the ides of feminism, Jessica Bell has issued a request. She takes every question and places it in the path of the norm . . . and then watches it explode. She takes all the 'what ifs' women have been asking through the decades, and works her way through. For character Melody Hill, it's a raw process. Her pursuit of a better life is hard-earned. Things go terribly wrong, but that's where the real conflict lies. It's interesting to see if Melody can survive the mess she made by asking questions. It's good, because many women never ask.

At times I found the subject matter of String Bridge too close for comfort. As I write this, I am five minutes away from getting my daughter up for school. Then her brother will wake up. Who knows when I will have a moment to write again today? If I steal time from wiping faces and cleaning dishes, just to write, things will get chaotic. I know the longing, and the questions being asked. So it was interesting to read, but at times, painful, and too real.

I loved the parallel themes in String Bridge. The symbolism of a family: mother/father/daughter, and to mirror that: Melody's parents and she as the child. Her father is the opposite of the husband, he's comforting and supportive. The mother is harsh and selfish, traits Melody struggles with in the wish to keep her daughter Tessa from experiencing a childhood such as hers.

More themes: the music and beauty of Greece. Jessica's words so often ran like music, flowing and lifting, crashing down like waves. She has a lovely writing style, and as for content--she went there, she really went there. All of these themes were held together similar to the way a guitar holds its strings: each one separate, yet together, permanent and unable to function without proximity.

I've always enjoyed the occasional Chicklit, and I guess you could call String Bridge Femlit, but that seems sort of derogatory. It's lit, it's personal. It doesn't try to be funny or charming. It's a real story about someone who isn't trying to deny herself or those around her. What do you call that? It's hard to place a genre on truth.

It was a beautiful read. Thank you Jessica for letting me review String Bridge. Best wishes with its success!

If you are want to find out more about Jessica Bell, her life and works, you can visit her blog at: http://www.thealliterativeallomorph.blogspot.com/

or go to her website at: http://www.jessicacbell.com/

Thanks for reading.

Friday!

Jessica Bell is doing quite well today with her debut novel "String Bridge." It hit the Amazon charts at a high number, but has quickly risen to the low hundreds and is still rising. If you haven't taken a look at the book, her blog, or the beautiful cd full of songs to accompany the book--all of which she wrote and sang herself--you should really check it out. It's amazing what the girl has done. She has worked hard. And she's crazy talented! Congrats Jessica!

I've had a day of achiness and just not feeling so good, but I'm getting better by the hour. Must have been a 24 bug. Right now I'm listening to Gene Vincent and trying to get something done before the kiddos come home.

What are everyone's plans for the weekend?

Another tricky day

Julia had a bad cavity which had to be pulled out yesterday. It was a baby tooth that hadn't come loose yet, but still . . . I took her to a dentist this summer to have the cavity looked at but they refused to do service because she kept putting her hands up to block her mouth. I told them she had a sensory disorder but they said they wouldn't work on her. It really depressed me. I mean, what the hell do you do for your kid when someone won't help them? If you know Julia, then you know she wasn't in there biting people and swatting at them. She was just putting her hands up in protest. They could have asked me to come in and help calm her down.

Anyway, Halloween did her no favors and that cavity became worse this last week. I searched the internet in a panic trying to get someone who would help and found a children's dentist who said he'd see her. He was great. Calm and kind.

So anyway, that's all fixed now, though the whole thing has depressed me. Being a mom is soul-destroying sometimes, ain't it?

The good news is my writing block has eased off a bit and I'm slowly writing again. It's been since August! Maybe I lost the joy. Not sure, but thank god it's coming back. I need to write to save me from myself. If you haven't noticed, I can be a real debbie downer. It ain't fun.

New album

Well, Meadowland is here and I've been spending a lot of time trying to figure out how to promote it. There's a sort of tier of action to take when a cd comes out. You send out press releases, try to get interviews, send it to college radio, send it to newspaper and local tv stations, etc. But then you have someone like me who wants to do all that, but is totally shy and freaking out. What if they don't like the cd? What if I DO get a call to be on a local station? Won't I just be nervous as heck, knees shaking, six am under bright lights? Haha, I'm such a worrier. Maybe I'll be great and people will be like, "Wow, that lady kicks ass. Where can I buy her cd?!" Ppppffffft!!!

When I was at the post office mailing off a press release and a cd/one sheet for a radio station, my hands shook and a guy behind me had to talk me through the questions at stamp machine. "No, hey, don't push the dangerous chemicals button!" It's kind of funny that I let myself get so worked up. Oh God. I hope my cd doesn't bomb. I really love all the songs and it's been such a long time coming. If I wasn't so damn shy everything would be so much easier!

Anyway, so here it is. Meadowland is out and I'm a proud momma.

Enlightened

"Sometimes . . . I think about someone else's life. I imagine all the love they do not have. I see the passion that is missing, the friends they don't know and the awful pressures that crush them. In those moments I realize how much I have. And how much I have to give."

Those lines are from character Amy Jellicoe in HBO's Enlightened. She's a former rager. She lost her corporate position after sleeping with a married co-worker whom ended up stabbing her in the back. After having a very bad public meltdown, she ends up in a mental rehab camp where she finds spiritual awakening. But going back to her new life isn't easy. She wants to incorporate all the wisdom she's learned; she wants to show the world she's not the same crazy bitch she once was. No one believes in the change, and she ends up working in the company's basement with a bunch of losers typing in data. It's a meaningless job, especially for a person who's dying to heal the world.

In episode three Amy, played by Laura Dern, decides to get a job at a homeless shelter to bring meaning back into her life. But when she finds out the pay is only $500 a week, she breaks down and tells the older gentleman who is ready to hire her that she can't do it. She has bills from the rehab camp, she's living with her mother, her life is a mess and the money is too low, but she wants to do this beautiful job. She wants to, but she just can't. And he, putting his arms around her says, "It's okay. You do what you can."

Amy goes into the shelter's bathroom to wash up, and she looks at the homeless lady who is washing up next to her. Amy realizes she is homeless just like the lady. She wanted to help them, but she is them.

I'm so blown over by Enlightened. It's a beautiful show, and Laura Dern is absolutely amazing in it. I do see a lot of myself in the character, even down to the way Laura and I look. But really, I like it because it's brilliantly written by Mike White, who also plays in the show as a humble and shy data geek. If you have cable then I suggest you give it a chance.

The world is crazy right now. We need a little reflection, a little bit of sanity. Enlightened takes our world and all its screwed up crappiness and it makes it digestible. If Amy is this screwed up, and she can somehow find a way to deal, then so can we. We don't have to hate, or get high, or give up, or sink like the Titanic. We can keep trying. We can keep treading.